"I Want You"

I don't think I can truly express how much I admire Marvin Gaye (sigh). His music, and lyrics literally take my breath away. Here is an example of his beautiful words:

I want you the right way, I want you.
But I want you to want me too.
Want you to want me, babyJust like I want you.

I give you all the love I want in return sweet darlin'
But half a love is all I feel.
It's too bad, it's just too sad, you don't want me now
But I'm gonna change your mind, someway, somehow, oh baby.

This one way love is just a fantasy, oh sugar.
To share is precious, pure and fair.
Don't play with something you should cherish for life, oh baby.
Don't you wanna care, aint it lonely out there.

When I close my eyes and think about these words (To share is precious, pure and fair), I think "damn, look where music once was". This man's words were thoughtful and had meaning...I mean you can literally feel his emotions through his song. These days we'd be lucky to get any feeling at all.

All musicians...err, entertainers should look into being schooled about this man, his work, and his message. He was smooth, and yet his sound, style, and music had so much meaning...it almost seems as if it were effortless.

Today I pay homage to him by reflecting on his work. If you don't have any of his albums, by all means cop his greatest hits---it is simply deep.

Sisters Empowering Sisters

This weekend I had the great privilege of attending The Image Initiative's "Sisters Empowering Sisters" conference. To say it was an amazing experience is an understatement. We (My sis, Nic, & Chevy) flew to Syracuse NY, Thursday evening to make it to the 2 day conference which began on Friday. Our plane didn't get in until a little after 10:30am Friday morning, so we didn't make it to the first half of the conference. However, we definitely made it right on time for the 'Sister Circle', which was an experience that I honestly can't even come close to describing with mere words. Lets just say I was in tears...and I mean tears of joy, sadness, hope, and understanding. The moment I stepped into the conference, my heart literally skipped a beat. It was a room full of black and brown teenage girls just engaged in a speaker who was talking about living with HIV. I just sat back and observed these young women and tears filled my eyes. I mean, I sat back and I conversed with God in my head because I knew right then just sitting there that he was tapping me on my shoulder telling me to look up and pay attention because they (these beautiful girls) are who I am obligated to. No if ands or buts about it. I have a responsibility to make it in this world, so that I can be an example for these young women, and so that they can know that there are plenty of choices and opportunities out there for them---whatever it is that they want to do, they can do it...and more.

I went to this conference hoping and praying to inspire at the least 1 little girl. But I left NY being inspired by every last one of them. My little sisters empowered me :)

Inquiring Minds Want to Know

I referenced "Confessions of a BET Producer" in my last post. For those who haven't seen or heard about this...here it is:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lm0mEfL8S9s

Had, Husselled, & Hoodwinked???

Is it possible that we as members of society are being had, hussled, and hoodwinked in facets of our lives that we'd never expect???

WORK: Think about it...I work in a corporate environment, where people instill such fear in "underlings" that folks are afraid to approach them even on a human level. This especially with peeps who are of a higher status in title (CEOs, VPs, etc). I mean hell, they sit so high on their horse that if a person of say my stature dare approaches them, then there's a high possiblity that I will be reprimanded for doing such. You're probably asking, who the **** do these people think they are? God? Yes, believe you me...I've often asked the same question on many occassions.

TV: When you're done dwelling on that note, think about the powers of influence that are having such a great effect on our 'folk. I am a black female, so ideally Black Entertainment Television (BET) is supposed to cater to me. I was deeply disturbed, however, when I watched Confessions of a BET Producer. Disturbed at how a coorporation has taken something that was meant to empower, enlighten, and allow 'folk to vent out their frustration, and essentially turn it into something that they PURPOSEFULLY set out to negatively influence 'folk, and profit from. Let me break it down in lamens terms, the KKK are getting BILLIONS of dollars off of us demoralizing, degrading, & disrespecting one another. LOL (maybe that was a little extreme) but you get the point. But seriously, when you think about it...these people don't even have to lay a finger on us, because we are doing the dirty work for them, and making them soo much money by doing so. I actually thought about calling my cable company and having them remove the channel off of my box...I even took it further and thought about creating a BOYCOTT BET website. Then I thought about that fact that there are people who work there and have families or are trying to survive and pay bills (almost like a prostitute, doing whatever they have to do to get paid---but I digress)...and I'm not into taking food out of people's mouths. But damn, can a sista get some balance? It is just frustrating, because I know that a change isn't going to come until their numbers are affected. I may just need to start that website, huh?

POLITICS: Now let's move onto politics. Conspiracy theory: Recall on Spinach, Dog Food Recall??? How much do you want to make a bet that there is more to this story than the goverment is willing to reveal. The terrorist did warn us you know.

Had, Husselled, & Hoodwinked??? I think so.

A Better Quality of Life

I want a better quality of life. I don't want to be rich, but I do want to be able to live a life where if I wanted to, I could get whatever it is that I want. I never had a taste for name brand, or rather the "finer things". I just simply like the idea of being able to handle my business, such as paying for my car repairs when my engine breaks down, or paying my rent without having to save half of last weeks paycheck, etc.

I have this strong need for indepence, and the need to achieve the things that I've set out to do before I can become remotely comfortable with doing anything else, like going out to dinner or chilling with my friends at the movies, etc. It has almost become a sickness to some degree. No, I take that back...not a sickness, but an obsession. I kinda feel like some things need to be put on the back burner in order for me to fulfill this void of accomplishment.

This weekend I have been on a high like I've never been before for 2 days straight, all because I completed my first draft of my speculatory script. Mind you, I've been working on this spec for what seems like ages. But the feeling and pride that I feel from this accomplisment, no matter how long it took me, is like no other feeling that I've had before. I mean I literally feel like I'm the shiznit, and can do anything that I set my mind out to do. Not to mention that I read my script, and at times had to ask myself "Damn, did I write this?" LOL, I laugh right now becasue if you know me you know that I am one who is rarely prideful, especially when it comes to my writing. I am actually very humble, to the point where I somewhat lack confidence in myself and my ability.

However, after crossing that finish line, I've never felt better about my future, and about being able to provide that better quality of life that I so long for... and can't nobody stop me from doing so.

I Want to Change the World

I've come to the conclusion that I want to change the world. I don't want to run it, rule it, or rape it of it's riches. But I do in fact want to change it. I laugh as I write this, because that is a bold ass statement to make. I realized it today, tonight...hell I think I've known for a while. But all of a sudden it just hit me like a brick wall. And the even funnier part is, I know that I am going to. I can't explain it, again I know that it is a bold ass statement, but I do. I can feel it in my spirit, and I know that I won't leave this earth until I do what I have been set out to do. Mind you I don't know how exactly I'm going to do this, but I know that I am. One day at a time...one day at a time.

Great Expectations

I really should be in bed right now. I am soo freaking tired, however I had to get this out. Ever heard of the power of 3? You know the saying that when something comes to you 3 times, then it must be a sign?

That happened to me this week, regarding 'Great Expectations'. I went to see a girlfriends one act play on Monday, titled "Great Expectations"; the book that I ordered from Amazon.com titled "Great Expectations" by Charles Dickens arrived to my home on Monday, and on my soap "One Life to Live", they had a scene where kids in a class were doing a report/reading none other than "Great Expectations".

Clearly a sign for me to expect great things right? And needless to say...I expect great things, and so much more. I've kinda already received a glimpse of what they just might be.

:D

Arrested Development

I'm sitting here watching what I would probably call my favorite channel---VH1 Soul. And of course my favorite program, Soul 2, is on. Low and behold, the 90s group Arrested Development pops up on the screen. The song playing is "Revolution", from the 'Malcolm X' soundtrack. I just sit back in amazement as I watch the video because in retrospect the 90s wasn't that long ago. In fact, it was less than 10 years ago, yet what I see on the screen is so far from the videos I am unfortunately exposed to today. 'Folk were portrayed as united, strong, and cultured. I mean they were really into representing our roots and heritage, with there African garments, dances, and words. The lyrics that Speech raps are intelligent, encouraging, and insightful...literally making me want to go out and start a revolution.

What happened to them, where is our Arrested Development of the 21st century?

My enthusiam to start a revolution quickly fizzled when I saw Beyonce's new "Upgrade U" video. I just think she could've took it to a whole new level, but she chose to do what she usually do---which I'm sure isn't hurting her financially, so why fix what's not broken, right?

Forgive them father, for they know not what they do.

Kids

What's up with kids today? I was watching the news yesterday morning while in the doctor's office, only to see that 2 teenagers were arrested for "teaching" a 2 and 4 year old how to smoke weed. Yes, let me write that again...FOR TEACHING A 2 and 4 YEAR OLD HOW TO SMOKE MARIJUANA! I can't even describe how sick I felt after viewing this (good thing I was at the doctor), and it didn't help that they were 'folk either. I found myself looking around the office to see who else was watching this, and after noticing that there was 1 "tall" patient in the lobby I felt a little compelled to walk up to him and say, "Sir, we don't all teach our children how to smoke weed, those are just some ignant mo'fos who clearly are dimented and need an immediate psychiatric evaluation". Of course I didn't say this, but still there was a slight hint of embarrassment. And I asked myself why? Why do you even care? "That isn't and never will be you" is what I told myself. But I realize I care because I always feel like things like this can be prevented. And I empathize on all sides---the babies, the babies' parents, and the whack teens who did such a stupid thing, and then took it to another level of stupidity when they recorded it (clearly, they have issues). But more importantly I do empathize, because I'm sure if they had the same resources as I had as a child, they would have known better, and would have had more options of entertainment than watching 2 babies choke on some dope. I cringe at the very thought...and then I think "God what are you trying to tell me?" Why does this piss me off so much? Again, the answer is right in front of me, and yet I'm just not ready or willing to look at it.

Runaway Love

Lately I've been running away from a love that I shouldn't be running away from. He's constantly on my mind, and in my head I'm always talking to him...yet I keep running away. Today I heard him distinctly say my name and call on me before I went into the office this morning, and I can't help but feel guilty because I haven't answered. I think about him all the time, and I know what I must do, yet I can't even put into words what is holding me back. Fear? No. Lack of strength? Possibly. I really am stumped as to what it is. Only time will tell...