It's Just a Matter of Respect

I had a long conversation on Sunday night with someone I've loved all of my life. And it was somewhat of a role reversal, where I was the advisor listening to all of his/her problems. As I was listening I could tell it was a release of so much frustration going on in his/her life, and whether I felt like being attentive or not, it needed to happen. He/She has been going through it with their wife/husband. The significant other had disrespected he/she by calling them out of their name. At that point I couldn't continue to listen, I had to immediately interject "What? Wait a minute, how do you even get to a point in your marriage where that occurs?". In my mind, disrespecting someone by calling them out of their name shows not only a lack of intelligence but a lack of respect...PERIOD, no if ands or buts. He/She did admit that they too have called their significant other out of their name as well, and at that point I could not refrain from speaking my peace. I told him/her that no matter how far someone else in the relationship goes in regards to disrespect, it is his/her responsibility to maintain their sense of integrity in spite of their circumstance. And these are adults, so childish things like name calling just shouldn't even happen, let alone between 2 people who are MARRIED. It's like being locked down in jail for life with a cell mate who you at first get along really well with, but then after some disagreement and/or a falling out, you have a hard time moving forward--because you can forgive what was said but not necessarily forget. I don't believe in everything being all peaches and cream, and I do recognize that people have to stop being polite and start getting real (especially within an intimate relationship), but I do however believe that people should choose their words wisely.

If I've learned anything from my past relationships though, it's that no matter how they ended I could always walk away with my head held high because I maintained my sense of integrity. It's simply just a matter of respect...for them, but more importantly for me.